Cross-stitch, quilting, craft….

Archive for November, 2010

Extra!Extra!

About 3.30pm, Western Australian Time, a brutal murder was committed, shocking residents of the sleepy settlement  Familyoom. 

The savage attack was witnessed by two well known, but reclusive residents.  Police have not been able to interview them, as the shock was so severe they were both rendered tweetless.  Tim Birdton is the director of the smash hit Budgie Smugglers.  He is seen here in the photo with his constant companion Wanda Wigglebottom, who shot to fame in the gut wrenching role of the seed addict in the movie “Millet”.

 The victim and her partner in happier times at the beginning of their relationship.

Police have charged a group of locals from the nearby settlement of Craftdrawer.  R. Cutter and Jan O. Me have been charged with the murder.  S. Ripper has been charged with being an accessory.  Rbish Bin has been charged with being accessory after the fact for her part in disposing of the body.

Ms R. Mug leaves behind two sisters – Mocha M. Rug; who gained instant celebrity status when the song Mug Rug by eccentric Australian singer MillyTant (which Mocha starred in) went viral last week on YouTube.  Her older sister, Cafe (who can be seen in the picture above), runs the family business Mug Rug Emporium.

Her partner Dotty (seen in the picture above), although bereft with grief, managed to speak to reporters outside her modest home at Kitchen Drawer.  “She was such a colourful character” sobbed Dotty.  “We loved going out and spending time with our friends Mug O’Tea and Piece O’Cake.  She will never be replaced in my heart.”

As the perpetrators of the crime were being led away, they declined to comment but were overheard saying to police that they didn’t know what came over them.  It had felt like a giant hand had reached out of the sky and was controlling them, making them rip and cut at Ms M. Rug’s body, then disembowling her until it lay in lifeless pieces.  A date has yet to be set for the trial.

Inspired By Madness

Hellllloooooooo my little crunchy nut cornflakes!!!!  MillyTant here.  Thank you sooooooooooo much, Sue for inviting me in as a guest blogger.  She wanted me to write about what inspires me.  Well, at the moment, there is just one thing that inspires me……..MUG RUGS!!!!!  I just can’t get enough of them….It is like feeding a donkey strawberries.  One is never enough.  I go to bed I dream about them,  I go online I look them up, I sit down at the sewing machine, I make them.  I just can’t stop!!!  Not that I would really want to stop.  They are such fun, aren’t they???

Here’s one I finished just last night.

When I get excited about something, I just want to get up and sing about it to the world…Now, some unkind people have said that I have a singing voice that could strip gloss paint off a door, but we know that is just not true, don’t we?

Anyway, back to the subject at hand….When I was a young grrl….not that long ago, really. 😉 …I danced my Saturday nights away with similar minded young ladies to the sounds of Madness.   One could always get a good workout to their songs….nowadays I have to visit the gym six nights a week to get the same effect!!!

I was inspired by a trip down memory lane while listening to them on the CD player to pen new lyrics to my favourite song.  I call it…….ODE TO THE MUG RUG.  I’ve pasted the words below.  I do hope you enjoy it!!!!

 Mug rug, mug rug, making a mug rug

Mug rug, mug rug, making a mug rug
Mug rug, mug rug, it is no humbug, ha-ha
Mug rug, mug rug, it is no humbug, yee-ha-ha-ha

It’s plain to see

I’m making it just for me

Mug rug, mug rug, making a mug rug

Mug rug, mug rug, making a mug rug

I’m about to explain

I’ll make them again and again
All you viral critics you
I’ve a-got E-quilter too
Cos

All you viral critics you

All you viral critics you

I’m gonna quilt all over you

Mug rug, mug rug, making a mug rug

Well if this is a mug rug

Then I know there is no humbug

Life’s gonna be brighter


Life’s gonna be lighter
And you won’t be the one who’s gonna miss out
Oh no, you won’t be the one who’s gonna miss out

Next, I’m gonna make just one for you 

 I hope to see you all again…………soon!!!!! MMMMMMUUWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHH MillyTant

STOP PRESS!!!!

There’s a caffeine driven phenomenon sweeping across the blogging landscape with no sign of slowing down or stopping. It’s spread like wildfire through WordPress, Blogger, Typepad, Flickr and a myriad of other social networking sites. 

 When quilting diva, Wanda Mugwort, was asked about this marvel, she just cackled and shrieked “It’s spellbinding!”

These shy quilters, who only want to be identified as Rotary Cutter and Skinny Eighth became quite animated as they agreed with Ms Mugwort.  “They can be as complex or as simple as you like.” smiled Ms Cutter.  “Oh, yes.  It only takes an hour to make one.  But who can stop at one?” giggled Ms Eighth.

So what has taken the quilting community by storm?

MUG RUGS

Raid your stash and make one today.

A 21 Step Programme….

Or………..Teach Yourself How To Crochet 101.

1.  Collect all the crochet books you like and all the cute crochet hooks and accessories you can find.  Do this for a couple of years, all the time telling yourself most sincerely that you will learn to crochet “this weekend”, then start a new sewing project instead. 

2.  When you do eventually decide to start, get yourself comfy with a cup of tea and a comfy cushion behind your back, enthusiastically watch the instructional DVD twice from beginning to end, pick up your hook, then cuddle the cat, as he has chosen this moment to jump on your lap after showing no interest beforehand for hours.

3.  When the cat has gone, marvel how everything made sense on the DVD and for the first five minutes everything just  clicks into place.  Teaching yourself how to crochet isn’t going to be too hard at all!

4.  As a south paw, you decide teaching yourself how to crochet right handed makes much more sense than reverse engineering patterns forevermore.  Besides that, you taught yourself how to knit right handed….How hard can crochet be?  After all there is one hook instead of two needles.

5.  Promptly forget that you need to be aware that your right hand does all the work, not your left holding the yarn.  This leads to something which has more resemblance to a bowl of buck wheat noodles which have been through the spin cycle in the washing machine.

6.  Watch the relevant section of the DVD…..again.

7.  Have another cup of tea, with a chocolate chaser and wonder if holding two University degrees is really a sign of intelligence.

8.  Consider asking the truck driver making a delivery over the road to run backwards and forwards a few times over your yarn and hook with his ten wheeled rig.

9.  Completely ignore the DVD as you begin hooking again….Even though it is ready to go on the relevant section with the remore control in easy reach.

10.   Hook, rip, hook, rip.  Swear at the yarn and hook in such a way that it would make Father Jack cringe.

11.  Breathe in, breathe out…..

12.  Channel Jackie Chan’s Karate Kid style…..Put the hook under, put the hook behind, pull the hook through, put the hook under etc. etc.

13.  Wind the yarn around your little finger so it doesn’t flow freely.   Ignore the pain until your finger starts to turn purple and you are at risk of self-amputation.

14.  Stomp around the house looking for non-existent hooch.  Eye up the oranges in the fridge, wondering if you could substitute nail polish remover for vodka in a screwdriver.

15.  Decide the woman on the instructional DVD is on drugs.  It is the only possible explanation for the serene look on her face.  What on earth made you think learning to crochet might be fun???

16.  Settle back down with your hook and just as things are beginning to fall into place, answer the knock at the door…..Brandishing your crochet hook, threatening to remove the brains (Ancient Egyptian style) of the Foxtel salesman at the door.  Console yourself with the thought that you won’t be bothered by anyone from that company again for a very long time.

17.  Eat chocolate.

18.  Continue practise the foundation chain using the ball of acrylic which came with the DVD, even though it is splitting, matted mess. 

19.   Take the ball of yarn into  the back garden, dig a deep hole, toss the ball in, closely followed by the bottle of nail polish remover (much better to have it out of temptation’s way) and set fire to it.  Fill in the hole.  Jump on it….a lot.

20.  Go back inside and choose a ball of new splitty yarn from your stash.  You know the type….you keep it “just in case”  and isn’t practising a new craft the perfect use for it?

21.  Put down your hook, eat more chocolate and think about all the fun you are going to have teaching yourself how to crochet…..tomorrow

Justification

I can justify just about anything – including why I’d give up tonight’s jaunt to the hydro pool a miss…..

1.  It’s Friday.

2.  I feel like staying home to look at blogs and sew.

3.  I’ve been three times already this week.

4.   I’m tired……….etc, etc, etc.

All this completely ignores the fact that I feel both  invigorated and  relaxed afterwards.

I started thinking that I should come up with a few good reasons why I SHOULD go.  So I sat down with a glass of Bruce Lee….watta!!! and wrote a craft related list.

1.  Stamina

Being fit will mean I will be able to pull an all nighter.  Unfit, I’ll be a drooling, snoring, drooling mess slumped over the sewing machine or some kind of pointy sticks at 9pm instead of midnight.  The all important craft shop hopping would be affected, too….It is a cut lunch and water bottle job to reach more than one craft shop at a time in Perth, as they are well spread out across the suburbs…..which means I need to be on par with the Eveready bunny if I want to visit a few shops.

2.  Time

If I’m not  fit my immune system will not be at its optimum.  Who feels like crafting with a dose of the lurgy?  Or the amount of crafting time lost while recovering.   Not to mention what could happen to a piece of fabric if I happen to have a sneezing fit is potentially downright nasty.   Let alone the possibility of an inadvertent facial piercing if ANY kind of needle is involved.

3.  Strength

The stronger and fitter I am, the more supplies I can carry home from the local fabric/yarn/scrapbooking shop.

4.  MONEY

Have you seen the price of cold/flu tablets?  I can get 1 1/2 metres of fabric at Textile Traders for $7 or a metre of fabric from the discount table at my LQS for $12.  Medicine to ease the symptoms of the lurgy will chew right into my craft budget!

So here I sit, feeling relaxed and invigorated at the same time and feeling very glad that I did make the effort to exercise tonight and will tomorrow night, the night after that and the night after that etc etc.