Wednesday, Nov 25, 2009
On a quiet suburban street of the most remote city in the world a strange phenomena occurred in the early hours of this morning. This is not an isolated incident, as similar reports have come from far flung places such as Koryak Okrug, in far east Siberia and even Antarctica. The victim, who wishes only to be identified as “Ms Stitcher” says it is not the first time she has experienced this occurrence. She admits it happens on a seemingly random basis to herself and her crafty friends.
There was a hint of things to come early on Tuesday morning. Ms Stitcher had been sitting quietly knitting when she noticed her ball of yarn was not shrinking at the usual rate. She continued on and was relieved to observe shortly afterwards the ball was decreasing at a normal rate. She shrugged this off and didn’t think about it again until this morning when she was struck again. This time the attack was much more sinister, as it had affected the scarf she was knitting. No matter how many rows she knitted, the scarf did not grow.
Dr Aida Destash, an expert in crafting physics confirms the credibility of Ms Stitcher’s experiences. According to Dr Destash there is a simple explanation – black holes which spontaneously form around crafters. “The side effects are minimal. The most common is a temporary feeling of frustration on the part of the crafter brought about by the black hole’s string effect.” Long term comprehensive studies are being undertaken on what is being coined “crafter black holes”. Experts say there is no cause for alarm.